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Daily Football League |
| Lewiston Cattle Prods | 
Date Tue Dec 9 10:59:28 a.m. PT 2008
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| I just got off the phone with Paul Richter. Veteran of The Daily and kind of a "Q" type guy when it comes to electronics and gizmos. He believes that he has developed a software gadget that will accurately count the high volume of trash-talk emails and posts that will fly between Green River and Wasilla this week. Gentlemen, start your engines. |
| The Defending Krohn Bowl Champion Green River Killers |
Date Tue Dec 9 2:56:36 p.m. PT 2008
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| Ion, Have you seen my roster? Have you analyzed my matchups? There will be no trash talked on this end. I'm off to Hawaii for a week. The only hope for the DKBCGRK is to pray to the Tiki Gods. Which, you can bet, I'll be doing. -Stuart The DKBCGRK: "It's taboo!" |
| Wasilla Drillers |
Date Tue Dec 9 7:28:32 p.m. PT 2008
Edited Tue Dec 9 11:26:00 p.m. PT 2008
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| Oh, no you don't, Screwart. You're not going to bag out that easy. Seriously, how did you guys let this patsy win it all last year? "Have you seen my roster?" What kind of curl up in a ball and hope they don't break your glasses shit is that? You'd never catch Woodinville pulling that crap, and he's a Coug for f*cks, sake. Have some pride. Yes, of course we've seen your roster. I see it on my milk carton every morning. I get charity mail with your roster on it, telling me that 'for just a dollar of cap space a day' we can help Stuart afford at least one non-shitty running back. I think there's a team in my other league that has your exact same roster. That team is called Waiver Wire. So yes, we've seen your roster and it sucks, but since when did that ever stop you from flinging the trash? I've been waiting for this matchup ever since you blackballed me last year. Couldn't hold the draft after a Husky game because you might still be a little drunk? Total bullshit. We're ALL drunk at the draft. We ARE all drunk at the draft, right? I'm not the only one, right? Anyway, for over a year now I've had your blackball e-mail taped to my monitor as a constant reminder of your incredible douche-baggery. I even had to kick brother-in-law Doug off the management team this year because he couldn't handle the singular, all-consuming nature of my rage. Well, that and he paid $17 for Chris Chambers that one time. So do not deny me this. You're going to lose this week. That much is certain. But would it kill you to at least be a dick about it? I'm going to go listen to 'Burning Heart' by Survivor while dragging a log up a mountain with a rope tied around my waist. I expect to see some trash talk when I get back. |
| The Defending Krohn Bowl Champion Green River Killers |
Date Tue Dec 9 9:11:17 p.m. PT 2008
Edited Tue Dec 9 9:15:00 p.m. PT 2008
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| It's waist. Not waste. I know, I know. You are really tired from all your studying and working and whatever it is you are raging about today. For the 100th time, I did NOT blackball you out of the league last year. Rob gave me bad information about what was as stake (you bitching about it for 15 months), so I told him that I favored drafting at the scheduled time. The time, incidentally, that had been scheduled for WEEKS. Yes, in order for you to have participated in the DFL in 2007, you would have had to have changed your plans. If we changed the time of the draft to when YOU wanted -- after all of us previously had agreed on the previous time -- it would meant that I, not you, would have been inconvenienced. And fuck that. (And ... what e-mail? I never sent you an e-mail. Did Rob forward you an e-mail I sent to him? Talk about douche-baggery.) Regarding this week's game, again, I'm off to Hawaii. Hopefully, I'll remember to turn in a lineup this week. If not, oh well, it's 83 degrees in Kona. -Stuart The DKBCGRK: Loco moco. |
| Wasilla Drillers |
Date Tue Dec 9 11:42:41 p.m. PT 2008
Edited Tue Dec 9 11:49:21 p.m. PT 2008
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| Yeah, waist. That's what I said. And who the hell is this Robert guy you keep talking about? Did he used to be in the league? Oh wait. Tall sensitive guy? Married Stephanie Dunnawhatsit? Yeah, I think I remember that guy. Or am I thinking of Mr Collectibles? Anyway, have fun in Hawaii. I was just in Maui a few weeks ago. Perfect this time of year. And hey, if you need to postpone our game until you get back, just say the word. I'd do that for you because, well, you know, I'm not a giant doucebag. |
| The Defending Krohn Bowl Champion Green River Killers |
Date Wed Dec 10 1:20:13 p.m. PT 2008
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| Uh, gee. Thanks, I guess. Either you're current on your meds (at last!), or you have some secret evil plan to be nice to me in order to soften me up for when you go in for the kill. Hmm. OK. The real reason I won't engage in trash-talkegery ... I don't get into fights I cannot win. There. I said it. That doesn't mean I won't get lucky with Adam Vinatieri scoring 24 points or something and actually win this week. If the DKBCGRK somehow successfully defend our Krohn Bowl title this year, who the hell will I put on the trophy? No one is deserving. Maybe this is the year I do what Bruce always has suggested: I put myself on the trophy. -Stuart The DKBCGRK: Sea turtles!!!! |
| Springfield Homers |
Date Tue Dec 9 9:10:52 p.m. PT 2008
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| Has the only remaining eastern Washington referenced team had a post all season? I'm too lazy to go back through all the posts. Maybe you can do that for me Wasilla since, it seems, your going to be talking trash to yourself this week. I'd ask Woodinville but he's gone back to Pullman on "business." Homer |
| The Defending Krohn Bowl Champion Green River Killers |
Date Tue Dec 9 9:18:09 p.m. PT 2008
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| Homer, It's hard to type while shining a flashlight at the keyboard. -Stuart The DKBCGRK: +1.50. |
| Wasilla Drillers |
Date Tue Dec 9 11:52:02 p.m. PT 2008
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| Hey, beat it, Springfield. Get your own topic. This thread is for mean people. |
| Wasilla Drillers |
Date Sun Dec 14 9:03:39 p.m. PT 2008
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| As advertised. It was the game of the week, and the real Krohn Bowl as far as I'm concerned. Not that anyone but me and maybe Stuart was watching, but it was a pretty good back and forth game all day. In the end it took the highest score of the week to win this one. The Leon Washington touchdown was 3 yards short of 12 points. The Romo back injury had me sweating, especially since I didn't have the nutsack to start Pennington. Loved the Witten tackled at the one yard line to preserve the win play. Classic. But the MVP Killer Killer has to be My Bironas, idiot kicker extraordinaire, and the best $1 I ever spent. You are officially forgiven for blackballing me Stuart. I will not speak of it again. |
| Commissioner |
Date Sun Dec 14 9:56:41 p.m. PT 2008
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| Had Witten gotten in the end zone and the game had ended in a 47-47 tie, Wasilla would have advanced via having a better regular-season record. We used to break those ties using a PK Shootout-type system, but we scrubbed that rule a few years ago. Now, "home field advantage" is essentially worth a half of a point. |